


Hello

by bestquality_ayY



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Child Abuse, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Non-Graphic Violence, Suicidal Thoughts, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-08
Updated: 2019-06-12
Packaged: 2020-04-23 03:09:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19142353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bestquality_ayY/pseuds/bestquality_ayY
Summary: It's easy to fall in love with the beautiful, with the bright, with the sweet.It's even easier to long for their touch, for their smile, for the sparkle in their eyes.But to Felix, it happened a little differently.He fell in love with glistening tears and fearful eyes.He fell in love with a boy who was so used to the darkness that he'd cling to the faintest of lights.He fell in love with Seo Changbin.But Seo Changbin had no idea what love felt like.





	1. WE

"So far..." he whispers softly into the night, head resting on the palm of his hand.

It is dark outside, angry red digits shining from the digital clock on the nightstand by his bed-

03:47 

-yet his eyes rarely stray. They are always busy wondering upwards, high and then higher, always searching, waiting.

Now too, one little star is still shining the brightest. And he likes to watch it glow. There's something about its light, its shape, something that makes the slightest spark of hope settle in his heart. 

Alone in his room, Changbin smiles. He smiles to himself and he smiles to the sky. He smiles to his little star, wishing it could come closer. 

And once again, he falls asleep by the window, tears drying on his cheeks as the summer breeze ruffles his dark hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I really hope this turned out well, it's my first time writing for this fandom. Also, English isn't my first language so please feel free to tell me if I get anything wrong. 
> 
> The tags may change. If you think I should add something please tell me. I'm still figuring out the way AO3 works and I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable. 
> 
> Thank you for reading! The next chapter will also be short, but after that, they will get a lot longer.


	2. ARE

Laughter is ever-present in their hideout. 

There are six of them - six friends who never really got around to understanding the world they live in. 

They smile, they mess around and yell when they feel like it. And they sing loudly and from the bottom of their heart; and they laugh and they cry sometimes too, because everyone cries sometimes, so they do too. 

Three are huddled on the worn out couch, two are laying on the floor and one is leaning on the closest wall. So even if there is no such thing as hot or cold around here, it's warm. In their hearts, the sun is blazing. 

So Felix keeps on smiling.  
Even when he's so uncertain of what's yet to come;   
Even when one single tear rolls down his cheek.

He keeps on smiling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And finallyy the two short chapters are out of the way. These were kind of like a prologue of some sort, so the actual action only starts in the next chapter, which will be longer. I hope you enjoyed! Please leave kudos or a comment if you did! That'd make my day


	3. Lost

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here it is! The first actual chapter! It's longer, just as I promised. I really hope you will enjoy it. If you do, please leave kudos or an opinion, it would mean everything to me!

He ran down the busy hallways, apologizing swiftly when he bumped into someone, but he never really slowed down. He tried to go faster, but it was kind of impossible with how tired he was getting. So, in a last attempt to get back what's his, he threw himself at the person speeding away from him. Now, with both of them on the floor, Changbing grabbed his phone from his friend's hand and moved away so he wasn't laying on him anymore. Neither got up just yet.

His friend groaned and it was so exaggerated that it made Changbin roll his eyes at him. However, a small smile made its way onto his face when the younger muttered an "I hate you" they both knew he didn't mean. 

They both chuckled when some students looked weirdly at them, telling the two boys to stand up. And they did, just because they didn't really like to be that much of an inconvenience to others. 

"So then, English?" Jisung asked, dusting himself off and grinning from ear to ear, as if he just had the time of his life. 

Changbin nodded. "English!", he exclaimed with a smile of his own, shoving his friend a little so they can start heading to the classroom. 

The thing is, Changbin wasn't even in that class, but it was like an unsaid rule that he always has to walk Jisung to English. After, he can just enjoy his free period, write some lyrics if he's feeling inspired, whatever he could think of to pass the time. 

Once they parted with a small wave, the older was left deciding what to do an enitre hour by himself. Now, he enjoyed being alone sometimes, it didn't bother him, he just preferred having someone by his side while at school. Otherwise, it could get pretty boring. 

He found himself walking towards the roof, as it has always been one of his favorite places. When he finally made it there, he let himself slid down the door, placing his backpack on the ground, by his side. Changbin just stared up at the sky, admiring how clear it was, how serene it looked. 

He sighed, a small smile tugging at his lips as he thought about all the times he found comfort in the sky. Changbin preffered the night, with all the sparkling lights doting the infinite darkness, but he also enjoyed the vibrant energy of the day. Somehow, just the thought of something that was so out of reach, but still visible and so beautiful in its own way, made him feel like there's still a lot of hope for him. 

He was happy, usually. He smiled and he laughed when he was with his two best friends and he meant it almost every time. But like it was for everyone else, there just happened to be different situations or feelings that made things a little bit difficult. 

Lost in thought, he didn't hear the approaching footsteps until he was suddenly hit by the door he was leaning on. He fell on his side, looking up and not to his surprise, meeting eyes with his hyung and other best friend, Chan. He glared playfully at him while readjusting his position, watching as the older simply grinned in pure satisfaction before settling down near Changbin.

"Why are you being emo on your own again, young one?" Chan asked, making the younger stare at him for a few moments before finally deciding to answer.

"I'm not being emo, I'm just enjoying my free period." He paused to throw a sideways glance at the other. "Or well, I was enjoying it, at least." 

Chan only chuckled, shaking his head. "Shut up, you were probably getting bored." 

Changbin shrugged. "You're not wrong, though." 

And so, the two talked about whatever came to mind, never focusing on a single topic for much. It was pleasant, the atmosphere warm and relaxing as they waited for the bell to ring so Jisung could join them too. 

After some time, they fell into a comfortable silence - Chan taking out his book and Changbin simply watching the clouds be swept away by the chilly wind. 

It did not take much longer for third period to end, barely fifteen minutes, and when it did, the two got up and started to make their way to the cafeteria. 

"HYUNGS!" 

"That's our squirrel." Chan laughed, spotting their younger friend at a table not that far from where they were. "How was English, Sungie?" He asked as he sat down, taking out his lunch box. 

"Eh, the same as last year." The orange haired boy answered half heartedly, placing his head on his hand. "I thought it would get at least a bit more interesting but nooo..." He continued, gesturing with his other hand. "The teacher seems just as done with the whole entire world as he did last year and I'm not thriving." He finished with a huff, looking at the two sitted right across of him for a reaction. 

"Sorry to hear that, buddy. English is already hard as it is and a bad teacher certainly doesn't make it any enjoyable." Changbin said, taking a bite out of his sandwich. 

"Yap, that's true." Chan agreed. "But hey, you'll always have me to help!" He exclaimed happily, probably only trying to lift the youngest's spirits. 

And it worked, because Jisung smiled brightly and thanked him and Chan was really glad he could make at least one class easier on him. 

It didn't take long for a conversation to spark between the boys and they were soon laughing so hard they could barely breathe. It was nothing out of the ordinary, they were used to getting this loud and the tables near them stopped complaining halfway through the first year of highschool. Truth be told, Changbin wouldn't have it any other way. He was a pretty quiet person if he was on his own, not really liking any attention on himself, but add Chan and Jisung to his boring life and suddenly he doesn't know how to stop acting silly. At first, the other students had been shocked to see him actually smiling and enjoying life, but it didn't take long for them to realize he was only like that with his best friends. Once they figured that out, their interest pretty much died and they went back to their own things. 

Once lunch was over, the three said their goodbyes, each heading in a different direction. The rest of the day went by pretty quick, nothing interesting happened since well, it was just the first day, but it wasn't boring either. The teachers gave no homework which was something completely new but no one complained. Why would they? It meant more free time. Though, as Changbin was slowly walking home, he knew there won't be much for him to do. 

The dark haired boy stopped in front of his house, a deep sigh escaping his lips. He contemplated taking a walk just so he could have a bit longer until he had to go home, but it wouldn't actually help in the long run anyway so he decided against it. Changbin took out his keys, playing with them for a few seconds before unlocking the door and quietly slipping inside. 

His arms found their way around his middle, a gesture that usually brought comfort to the boy but now it only served as a reminder of how lonely he actually was. How it seemed to be just him against the world once his best friends were no longer by his side. It frustrated him, how he was never happy with his own company.

Once he stepped inside his room, a comforting warmth took over his entire being. Changbin smiled, something along the lines of softness and longing sparkling deep in his eyes. He sat down by the window. The wind was now colder, sending shivers up his spine. He cradled his favorite stuffed toy, a munchlax named Gyu, to his chest as he watched september turn the trees into colorful, dying magic shows.

He watched the same old car, rusty and mostly useless, hoping the time will pass him by quicker. It was parked right in front of his window, it had been like that for the past five years or so and it never changed. Sometimes, Changbin wished to wake up one morning and see that place empty. It would mean the world was shaping intself into something else, something maybe a bit more fortunate for him.

Hours went by unnoticed and it was soon late evening. The boy found himself in the same position, only this time he had his notebook resting against his knees as he scribbled some lyrics down onto the page. They were no good, his mind was way too messy at the moment for anything to make sense, but it helped. It always did. He could be himself between the covers of that notebook, just like he could be himself under the light of the thousands of stars. And when he was writing? It felt like the peak in the night when that one star, brighter than any other, shined against his window, the light so warm it almost felt like the gentle touch of an angel. 

For years upon years, Changbin sat in front of his window and dreamed. When everything else was crumbling around him, the sky remained up there, wide and as inviting as ever. So even if his lungs were pleading for air and his skin was crawling, he never lost hope, not completely. There had been moments when his entire existence seemed worthless, when he eyed the busy highway with a faraway look in his eyes and let his mind wander. But it never went too far, it never reached points he won't be able to return from. Because one look at the sky and that gentle light would come in contact with his skin, taking away the pressure on his chest. It would make him realize there was still something waiting for him, even if it just the darkness, even if it's just a star.

Now, however, when the door to his apartment is thrown open and rised voices cut through the silence, he asks himself if a childish dream is enough to get him through things. 

He could hear every word tumbling against the walls. He could hear the way his mother slapped his father, they way he yelled things he wouldn't mean in the morning. Changbin didn't even bother to block out all the noise, he wanted to hear it. He was always on the edge, wanting to interfere but being too scared to do so. At least, by listening to them, he could figure what happened this time and maybe how to avoid a future conflict. Maybe at some point he'll figure a way to keep his parents from fighting. 

It only took twenty minutes or so for his father to leave, slamming the door behind him. It only took another three for his mother to walk up the stairs and try to open the door to his room, screaming at her son once she realized it was locked. 

Changbin didn't move. He was aware of the fact that he was only making things worse, but he couldn't bring himself to let his mom inside. He knew she would throw all her anger at him, he knew he would be blamed for stuff he didn't even know about. He didn't want to, he was already having a bad day, with school starting and all, he didn't need her words nagging at his mind too.

After some more minutes, Changbin stood up, hiding the notebook behind the munchlax. He just couldn't let his mother see it again. 

With small, hesitant steps, he made his way to the door. He raised his hand and after taking a deep breath, Changbin pulled the door opened, quickly backing away from the angry woman who advanced towards him as soon as she got the chance. 

"You brat!" She yelled. "What took you so long, huh? What took you so long to let me in?" She asked, fire dancing in her dark eyes, fury present in every single gesture.

Changbin looked at her without saying anything. There was nothing to say, she wouldn't listen anyway, she would just twist his words and make everything take a turn for the worst. However, his silence didn't please her that much either. She needed someone to play her game, to get angry right back at her so she could pour all her insecurities on that person without ever feeling guilty. He knew that, he used to get frustrated at his parents, at his life, at almost everything if he were honest. He used to yell back at his mom, he used to get so mad at her, at the way she was acting like she could control anyone around her. Then he got tired of arguing, he got scared of seeing aspects of his mom in his own personality and he just gave up trying to reason with her all together. It was not worth it, he would be the one to suffer no matter if he choose to remain silent or not.

"You're not even answering me, huh?" His mother scoffed, glancing around the room. A smile formed on her face, making the blood freeze in Changbin's veins.

He whipped his head around, trying to figure where exactly his mom was looking. Though, he already knew, he just didn't want to believe it. It could not happen again, not now, not with this one. 

"I see..." She mumbled, taking a few more steps, getting closer and closer to the window.

Her smile only seemed to widden, mocking the boy who could only flinch back when she walked directly past him. She shoved the munchlax away, watching as it tumbled to the floor before getting a hold on the notebook, waving it around while her face contorted in disgust.

"This is why you couldn't answer? This?" She lauged, shaking her head.

Truth be told, she had really thought that her son listened. She really believed it when he said that he stopped going on and on about pointless emotions and hopeless dreams in those lyrics of his. She could barely hold the damned notebook in her hands, wishing nothing more than to see it burn to ashes, never to be brought in front of her eyes ever again. Her son failed to listen, her son failed to see how much time he was wasting by trying to come up with magnificent ways to simply describe the fact that he was confused or lost or something. She couldn't comprehend that, his need to sit around all day with a pen in his hand when he could be doing so much more.

"Why do you keep doing this? I told you I don't agree with it! I told you countless times!" She yelled, rage taking over after the surprise wore off.

"I'm not doing anything wrong, mom, please." The boy tried to reason. For once in a long while, he tried to make his mom understand. 

"You're wasting your time! You could be studying! You could be working, making money! But no, you decide to sit all day, writing about how oh, so sad you're feeling. I didn't raise you all this years just to have you become a dumb teenager who does absolutely nothing!" She spat, coming right up in her son's face, gripping his chin to make him look at her when he tried to tear his gaze away.

Changbin balled his fists, biting his lip to keep himself from talking. He was wasting time? He could be making money? He was doing nothing? Then what was she doing? She left early each and every day, only to come home with bags of take out and alcohol. She almost never cooked, he would have nothing to eat if it wasn't for his dad who even though was quick to anger and said stuff he didn't mean, had good intentions and actually cared, actually worked to make sure they had enough money to live comfortably. 

Even with those thoughts swirling inside his mind, he didn't dare move away. He was already scared of what she could do, but now, with his notebook in her grasp, he just hoped she would back down without doing anything too drastic. 

She pushed him away, stomping out of the boy's room. Changbin froze, watching her departing figure, hands trembling slightly and eyes wide open as he realized she took his notebook with her. His chest seemed to be crushed by some invisible weight, breaths coming harsher and faster as he tried to make sense of the situation. He could run after her, plead with his mother, maybe change her mind about writing, make her understand it was not a waste of time, that he could have a future based on the very lyrics she criticized. Or he could just let her take away everything he has been working on all this year, without trying to stop her.

Changbin ran out of his room as quick as he could, dashing down the hallway of his house, stumbling inside the kitchen. She could hear his mother in there, rummaging around the cabinets almost relentlessly. He didn't want to know what she was looking for. 

"Mom! Mom, what are you doing?" He asks, voice small as he hoped against all odds that his mother would simply walk away and the night would be embraced by silence. 

"What I should have done from the beginning. I won't make the mistake of trusting you again." The woman said, an eerie calmness enveloping her as she placed the notebook in the sink. 

"Mom, give it back, please! I worked hard on those lyrics, I can't lose them!" He exclaimed, tears forming in his eyes. He needed that notebook, he needed the lyrics, the words he chose so carefully to express every single thing he ever felt. He couldn't lose it, he couldn't lose another one. The last one his mother found, it only sheltered a few sentences, so it hadn't done much damage. But this? This is an entirely different story.

"Those lyrics aren't anything to be proud of. You're better off without them." She said, facing her son. Her arms were crossed, her eyes cold, but she was smiling. She seemed happy for a reason or another, probably because she believed she was doing something good. Or simply because she was enjoying the helplessness in her son's eyes. 

Changbin shook his head, knowing that he would start crying if he even tried to open his mouth. He hugged himself tightly, not even caring about the fact that he was letting himself be so vulnerable in front of the one person who could take advantage of it. At the moment, he wished for nothing but to be able to touch the soft cover of his notebook once more.

His eyes widened, his mouth opened in a last try to protest against his mother's actions. She held the match between her fingers, lighting it with ease, staring at the flame while a pleased smile took over her features. She was finally getting rid of that thing. She turned around, picked up the notebook and held the match close to it, watching as some of the pages caught on fire. She dropped the notebook in the sink, lighting yet another match and letting it fall on top of the other. 

The boy could feel tears falling down his cheeks and he desperately tried to wipe them away. He didn't want his mother to see him crying, but it wasn't the first time and it seemed like there would be even more occasions for her to see him like that. As the flames got brighter, eating away the paper, his mom eventually walked away, not sparing him another glance. 

Once he was alone, he walked towards the kitchen sink, letting water fall over the flames in hope of weakening them. It did not take long for the fire to be put out since the notebook wasn't specifically big, but the mess left behind made Changbin feel like his own skin was still burning. 

There were a few things that really mattered for him. Just some stuff he could actually enjoy, some stuff that made life feel worth living. His two best friends, the sky, his father and his notebook. To have one ripped apart from him was something he couldn't really accept. It all felt like a bad dream, like he would wake up, leaning against the window and the notebook would be resting against his knees like every other time. 

As he touched the remains of the once beautiful black covers, he could feel all the passion he poured into the pages slipping out of reach. His hands fell limp at his sides, his eyes locked onto what was left of his dreams and thoughts and he couldn't believe that it was over. His lyrics weren't there anymore, they were burned and they won't ever come back to life, he knew that.

Changbin knew. He didn't want to believe it, but he knew. There was just no going back, his hard work couldn't be saved anymore. He didn't even know if there was even the slightest chance to begin with, but he hoped there was. At least, he tried. He did the best he could and even though it wasn't enough, it was something. Or so he kept telling himself, over and over, wanting more than anything to believe his own words. But it was hard when they were laying right in front of him in a bunch of ashes. They meant nothing anymore, the flames took everything from them and they took a part of Changbin too. He just couldn't stop his heart from trying to jump out of his chest, or his hands from shaking. He couldn't do anything that night, he lost every piece of happiness he tried to save. Each and every one of the lyrics held a kind of power and without them, without that power, he felt useless. 

He shook his head in a last attempt to clear his mind, but it didn't really do much. That's why, not even a minute later, Changbin had his shoes on and a hoodie was engulfing him in its warmth as he left his house behind. He passed by the old car and smiled, his chest feeling a bit lighter. No matter how much he despised that car sometimes, it still brought him comfort in times of need. He had no idea why, probably never would, but he won't complain. It was nice to know something will always be there, he figured.

The sky was quite dark, not many stars up there. Changbin sighed, shoving his hands inside his pockets. There was nobody else outside, the streets completely empty, a fact he was grateful for because he really didn't want to see anyone, no matter if they were a stranger or a good friend. 

He was used to the feeling of loneliness, he was used to sadness, they were nothing new to him. The emptiness he was experiencing now, however, was something he never had to deal with before. Each time he struggled, there was always something. Always something he could feel, no matter what it was, no matter if he liked it or not. However, as he didn't even bother to move out of the middle of the road, he knew that right then his heart was completely devoid of any emotion. 

Loud music shattered the silence of the night, pulling the boy out of his thoughts, the joyful screams of a group of people piercing Changbin's ears as he turned his head around in shock. There it was. A white car. A driver who barely even kept his eyes on the road. And everything was coming right at him, faster than he could even comprehend. His feet seemed to be frozen, his eyes wide as the moment appeared to be stretching on for eternity.

Then, out of nowhere, a powerful light enveloped the darkness. Changbin snapped his eyes shut, waiting for the pain, for the impact, for something that would surely end his life. But it didn't come. 

A screeching of tires, groans of pain, shocked gasps were all Changbin could make out. Upon openig his eyes, the only light was the one coming from the car's headlights. 

The car. The car that was originally speeding his way - parked only a few centimeters away from him. The people inside were shuffling around, some had gotten hurt from the sudden stop, some were simply too shocked to move. As was Changbin. He stared at the vehicle, hands shaking so hard he could barely keep them inside his pockets.

He had been so close to dying. So close to never picking up a pen, to never writing another line, to never rolling his eyes at one of Jisung's jokes, to never seeing Chan hyung smile, to never eating his dad's cupcakes... He had been so close to losing his life that it left him gasping for air as he stumbled away from the car, running in the direction of his home. He wanted to be back inside his room now, under the covers where he was safe, with the silence that proved itself a pretty great friend along the time. 

Once he made it back, panting and barely being able to feel his legs, he went straight to his room. He didn't take a shower, he didn't even change. Changbin only took off his shoes, since he had forgotten to do so when he entered his house, then he grabbed Gyu, flopping down onto the bed. He gripped the munchlax as tightly as he could, knuckles turning white. The boy was still shacken up, his heart almost jumping right out of his chest, hair getting in his eyes as sweat made it stuck to his forehead. 

It did not take much for Changbin to realize there was no chance he was going to sleep that night. The fear in his mind too raw, ever-present in the constant tightening of his grip on the plushie, in the way his eyes kept darting around the room from time to time. Until, he glanced outside the window, staring at the sky, feeling some kind of peace settle over him as he spotted the one star that always seemed to shine just a little bit brighter, just a little bit more for him than for the rest of the world. 

Changbin stared and stared, and he knew something was wrong. His star wasn't lightning up his universe like it usually did, it was twinkling, its light fading slightly before coming right back weaker than it left. It looked like it was fighting a losing battle, it looked like someone trying to hold on, every gesture full of despair as they tried to deny the fact that they weren't winning.

He frowned, remembering the sudden burst of light that blinded him right before the car stopped. He thought that maybe it was coming from the headlights, maybe his mind over exaggerated their power, given the situation. 

Now, as he watched his little star flicker, he really wished it was just a trick his mind was playing on him. He really wished he was imagining the way it was slowly burning out.

**Author's Note:**

> So I really hope this turned out well, it's my first time writing for this fandom. Also, English isn't my first language so please feel free to tell me if I get anything wrong.
> 
> The tags may change. If you think I should add something please tell me. I'm still figuring out the way AO3 works and I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable. 
> 
> Thank you for reading! The next chapter will also be short, but after that, they will get a lot longer.


End file.
